Lament #0021 - Science Fiction 101

Here's one for the blog-o-sphere: Hollywood LIES.

WAIT! It's not what you think. And it's really not just Hollywood which has the problem. But I'll back up so this all makes sense...

Today I dusted off an old sci-fi novel I've been meaning to write, and I was editing some paragraphs, checking those facts and figures, and wondering how I was going to write a science fiction novel when I didn't know squat. Well, "Hey!" I thought. "I've watched Star Trek and Stargate. I'll just borrow some terms from them; they gotta know what they're doing."

Fortunately I decided to double-check some stuff. Try Inertial dampeners, for instance. I'll not go into the science trivia, personally. I'll just link you to the wiki page: Inertia Negation. Have a read (it's not long).

Are you back? Do you see my problem? People slap on a fancy name to an improbable device, call it science of the future, and expect people to buy it. We've talked about this before. Recall that fourteen year old boy trying to ban DHMO? How gullible we are.

My point? Not yet. Here's the best part.

I watched a movie, oh, quite a while back. It was a very eco-friendly movie with very little plot and lots of psychopaths trying to destroy the already-greatly-destroyed environment by stealing water and cutting down trees, yada, yada. The climax got me thinking. Yeah, really. But not because I was suddenly going "green" with a vengeance. (Don't get me wrong, I believe in respecting the planet. I also really like paper. More on that another time...) The climax of this movie had a walking volcano. I repeat: A WALKING VOLCANO. How does that even work? The mountain literally got up on mechanical legs and walked, spewing lava the whole time, on its way to destroy the remnants of mankind.

I honestly don't remember how the movie ended. I was too busy dying of laughter.

Now for my point. DO YOUR RESEARCH, PEOPLE!

I read a murder mystery book a while back, and one of the main points the author made was that everything you watch in the movies--particularly hand-to-hand combat, action, guns--is a lie. And Hollywood is getting away with it. There's nothing wrong with a little fantasy in our lives. Helps our imaginations grow, flourish. There's also a time for a reality check.

Check your facts, do the work, and the world will be a smarter, as well as a happier, place in which to live. Although with all that laughter, I suppose walking volcanoes have their place too.

Lament Extra - To That Stupid Girl Who Doesn't Update Her Blog for Years and Years and Years.

Hey, you! Yeah, you. The guilty party: that person who lazes about and doesn't write anything in that blog of yours. Time to dust off the ol' keyboard, crack your knuckles, and get to typing! The world is so full of things just waiting to be ranted about--so many stupid people drinking their cow milk, writing their inconsistent novels, dreaming about pulling teeth while they shatter the sacred dreams of others, and using their four-letter-word vocabularies to make themselves feel superior! So many lamentations just waiting to be shared with a world that doesn't care!

It's time to rail on the morons who smoke under your window. The man who beats his wife. The woman who thinks herself superior in the office because one hundred years ago she won the right to wear pants. Stop sitting back to try and take it. Don't take it! Beat it down! Scream to be heard! Use that first amendment to add your spiel to countless others.

Let's do this thing, and let the consequence follow.