There is a problem with writing about crazy people. You begin to think like them. Or, is it that you begin to realize that they think the way they do because you think the way you do which causes them to think that way, too? Either way--or both--it seems that an unhealthy level of influence from my characters, or from me to my characters and back to me, has caused my insanity to reach a level unparalleled by the insanity of my characters--all thanks to them (or me, rather, but we've covered that already).
"Why do you think you're crazy?" you ask? Simple; I hear things. Things no one else hears. Like my name, called out by nothing. Because I'm alone in the house. Terrifying, that.
But that's not all. I talk to myself.
"Really?"
"YES! See?"
"No!"
"Yes, you do. Liar."
"Shut up."
"I can't. If I do, you will."
"Good point. So, proceed."
"Thanks."
Do YOU see?
Are you arguing, "But a crazy person can't know they are crazy!"
Psh. Have you ever been a crazy person with the inability to tell you're crazy? Honestly, how is a person with a certificate stating they are sane in order that they can call others crazy really know how it feels to be crazy? Huh? Yeah, good point, isn't it?
"It is."
"Hush."
And while we're on the subject, who isn't crazy? I mean, who decides what normal is--someone who feels HE is normal? Oh, that's brilliant. Let someone who believes themselves to be normal define normal, so everyone else who doesn't think like them can't be normal, so they must be crazy. Again, brilliant.
Why not let the crazy diagnose themselves, as I think we would know better than a person who believes himself to be sane. If he can decide that, surely we have the same right.
"Right?"
"Right."
"I hear things. Things no one else hears. Like my name, called out by nothing. Because I'm alone in the house."
ReplyDeleteI can relate to that. I've had that happen a lot, where I'm positive I heard someone say something and either there is no one there or the people who are there didn't say thing at all. Usually I attribute it to being potentially paranormal--ghosts/spirits and such, I mean. It's rarer that I get "characters" (I put it in quotes because I don't really think of them as characters so much) knocking on my brain, unless they're new and are wanting to get my attention.
And I don't know that I so much talk to myself, but I do talk to Demannu quite a bit. Or she talks to me in the same sense. For example, I'll be doing something and maybe about to do something stupid and that voice will just pop out of nowhere and demand, "What do you think you're doing?" or tell me to concentrate or something of that nature.
I guess in a sense that would be talking to myself because she kind of is me, but I don't know. I tend to think of her as a separate entity (but not a separate personality-type thing; I don't think I have dissociative identity disorder--split persona disorder).
The way I see it, normalcy and insanity are something for the psychologists, sociologists and philosphers to argue about amongst themselves. I'm just going to live my life.
The way I see it, normalcy and insanity are something for the psychologists, sociologists and philosophers to argue about amongst themselves. I'm just going to live my life. -- Amen to that!
ReplyDeleteThese signs of "craziness" of ours are more quirks, most likely. Authors, as a rule, have them, or so I hear. Makes life more interesting! And besides, it's AWESOME! :D
I've heard that, too, about authors. ^^ I think it's maybe just because we have to get so into our character's minds and their situations, so our brains start to fry. XD
ReplyDeleteAnd you're right, more interesting AND awesome. 8D